Heaven 51
Oh, Tom Tykwer, you misunderstood me. I told you I loved the metaphysical nature of Run Lola Run. But I never said I wanted only the metaphysical! This is an overly sensitive, almost laughably symbolic piece of art, not to be confused with entertainment.

The first half hour had me. Cate Blanchett's mistake is played out perfectly, up 'til the point when she realizes that things went awry. From there, 'twas a slow descent into, well, not heaven. Why did Blanchett run away with Giovanni Ribisi's character? She certainly talked of her desire to pay for her crime. So what gives? Did I blink at the exact moment they fell in love? Whatever the case, I didn't buy the love story for a single moment, which made it impossible to buy the movie.

Sure, there's some gorgeous stuff happening here, particularly the final ascent. But overall, Tykwer has achieved a very distant, untouchable, postcard-y beauty. Great. I paid nine bucks for a pile of postcards.