Out of the shower now, you pick up the hairdryer, hoping like mad your hair will perform. But of course, it does. In fact, it's freakishly bouncy and full of life, courtesy of the previous three days of lack-of-showering, deep-conditioning oil. It's like one of those VO5 Hot Oil treatments, only free! So, what to wear?

You glance with disdain at Bear Pants. Ahh, Bear Pants... those fuzzy, fleece, oh-so-soft sweatpants balled up in the corner. For the moment, you forget that they've been your true companion, Marc-Cohn-style, for weeks now. Screw you, Bear Pants. I have a *job* now.

You find a sweater you forgot you had. A skirt, too. And finally, you're up and out the door, heading into the shiny, sunny, money-filled world, thrilled to be minutes away from, like, coffee and Pop-Tarts with your coworkers du jour.

Of course, all good things must come to an end.

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