So I go online to search for a gastroenterologist. That, in and of itself, is disturbing. As of this moment, I'm old. Who needs a specialty 20 letters long? Say it with me now: Old. People. But I digress. My only real requirement is that the doc be affiliated with Northwestern Memorial. To me, Northwestern signifies, "I do not suck as a doctor." Look, I think I have a right to this sort of reassurance, given that said doctor may be sticking his fingers in uncharted territory. (Marisa does not understand this. She said, "What've you got up there, gold?") Ahem. My search results come back... 150 names, but not one from Northwestern. Hold on, I *know* they have Northwestern doctors because my other doctor is in their network. I do a search under her speciality, just to see if her name will pop up. Nope. Odd.

After a bit of investigating, I realize that if you plug in the name of a specific doctor, he or she will appear. But if you do a general search for a doctor? They hold all the good ones back. Bastards! So before I can find a new doctor, I need to know his name? Yeah, that makes sense.

con't